Burnout
by heatlightning
Summary: She always did love weddings. BL Oneshot.


Just a short BL oneshot I wrote during school the other day. It's set in the near future, sometime in S6 or after, I guess.

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It was just like she imagined it would be. The church, the colors, the flowers, the dresses - everything was perfect. She always did love weddings. All eyes were on her as she made her way down the aisle, including his. His expression was painfully unreadable as he stood at the altar awaiting her. Their eyes locked and it was suddenly as if there was no more sound, no more air. As if the world had ceased its spinning and everything just stopped. And that's when it hit her...

This was it.

"_I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. You'll see."_

"_Lucas is the one for me."_

"_Brooke Davis is gonna change the world someday."_

"_I'm going to miss the girl behind the red door."_

"_The difference? The difference is I love you, Brooke."_

"_It won't matter where we are, as long as we're together."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too, Pretty Girl."_

"_Someday, I'm gonna marry you..."_

"_If you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night."_

"_Didn't you miss me while you were away?"_

"_Everyday."_

"_... I forgive you..."_

"_Would you do it differently?"_

"_You save people, Brooke Davis."_

"_Thank you for being here for us."_

"_Thank you for letting me."_

"_I am here. We both are."_

"_I know. And it's good being here... especially with you._"

It was over.

Brooke smiled weakly as she passed him, pushing back the tears that were now threatening to spill. She couldn't do this. She told herself she wouldn't do this. When her eyes met his for a brief moment, Brooke immediately wished they wouldn't have. She used to love the way he looked at her. Now she found herself nauseous from it. In front of her, Haley was taking her place and Brooke followed suit soon after, settling herself in front of the crowd. His eyes never left hers. After what seemed like an eternity, Lucas' attention finally shifted and their eyes broke away from each other. She followed his gaze to the doors that were opening.

The last thing she remembers clearly was the look on Lucas' face as Larry walked Peyton down the aisle; the rest was a blur. A sickening, heart wrenching, life altering blur. Brooke felt like she had a hangover. All of a sudden the lights were brighter, the sounds were louder, the room seemed to spin uncontrollably, and no matter how hard she tried she could not get it to stop.

But then it was over.

She had not followed when they made their way out of the church. Still reeling with dizziness, it took her a moment to realize that she was, in fact, the only one left.

Well, almost the only one.

A hand touched Brooke's back and the world became horrifically clear. This was it... it was over. She ached for the blur.

"You okay?"

Haley was still standing next to her. Her face was worried with concerned as she studied her friend, trying to read her.

But Brooke didn't respond. The appropriate answer, she supposed, was, "Yes, I'm fine." She just couldn't find it in her to say it. She was tired of pretending. So instead she said nothing, silently reaching for Haley's hand and grasping it firmly. Neither one of them was sure how long they had been standing in that soundless, empty chapel before the doors burst open and Brooke registered her godson entering by himself.

"Momma?" he called, "Aunt Brooke? They're waiting for you."

That was when Brooke knew that this had to stop. She would have to leave this church and go back to them with a smile. She would have to give a toast to them and their love, wishing them luck in their life together. She would have to plaster on the fake smile she'd become so accustomed to wearing and the sad thing was that no one would even notice. They would come to her when they got in a fight and she would have to give them advice, tell them it was okay, remind them of their epic love story, and send them on their way. She would have to fake excitement when they announce they are expecting. She would have to throw a baby shower for Peyton, tell Lucas how great a father he'd be and, watch him cry with joy when his first child is born. She would have to watch the life she wanted from the sidelines. She would never get to live it.

She knew this. She prepared herself for this. After all, it was inevitable.

For the first time in a long time, she found herself desperately wishing it wasn't. For the first time since Angie had left, she wished she could go back and fight like she knew she should have. She thought she had been tired then, but it was nothing compared to what she was now. She was exhausted. Worn out. Drained. This charade was killing her; she was sick of pretending.

So she stopped. Brooke collapsed onto Haley's chest, sobbing uncontrollably into her friend's neck. She looked confused. Jamie just looked scared.

Haley, who had been taken aback momentarily, eased her hand out of Brooke's grip to wrap it around the girl's waste. With each heave the brunette made, Haley flinched slightly, now rubbing soothing circles on Brooke's back. Her bridesmaid's dress was soaked, she was sure, but there was not much she could do about it, nor much that she cared to do. She didn't try to calm Brooke down - she figured it was about time this was finally let out.

*****

Peyton was looking frantically for Brooke, refusing to go to the reception without her. Apparently they had arranged to ride together.

"Babe, let's just head on to the reception. I'm sure she'll meet us there." Lucas suggested, trying to talk some sense into her. "Let's not make this anymore complicated than it has to be."

Petyon would have none of that. Nathan even offered to wait for Brooke and give her a ride, but it wouldn't already sent Millicent to check all of the girl's bathrooms, but she hadn't had any luck.

"Peyton..."

"No.."

"Why don't y–"

"I'm waiting for her!"

This continued for minutes on end, going back and forth and getting them nowhere. Finally, the tiniest voice broke the cycle.

"Where's Jamie?"

They all looked at Lily.

*****

He turned the corner, exhaling deeply as he searched for his nephew. What was it about that kid and weddings, anyway?

"Jamie?" Lucas called a few times, hoping for an answer. No such luck.

His pace was quickening slightly as he found himself getting a little bit concerned. Now at the front of the church once more, he'd been around almost the entire first floor and was running out of places to check. He spied a tuft of blonde hair just Jamie's height through the crack in the doors to the chapel. Luke let out a sigh as he opened the doors. He found him.

He immediately crouched down behind the boy, patting him on the back. "Jamie.." he said, unable to get the boys attention. The little boy's gaze was fixated on the front of the room somewhere. Lucas followed his train of sight. He did not expect for what he would see to punch him in the gut like it did.

Brooke and Haley were still holding each other, Brooke with her face buried in the crook of Haley's neck and Haley now softly running her hand through Brooke's hair. Brooke was shaking uncontrollably and his best friend seemed to be comforting her. Just then, Haley noticed his presence. Her eyes locked with his, and that was when it hit him.

This was it.

It was over.

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I hope you liked it. Not really a happy ending. Sorry! Please review and tell me what you think. I'm up for constructive criticism or whatever 3

Thanks for reading!


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